PREGNANCY LOSS AS A RESULT OF TERMINTION DUE TO FOETAL ABNORMALTY

INTRODUCTION

 This pamphlet is intended to provide information and suggestions to people experiencing the loss of a pregnancy as a result of termination due to genetic abnormality, or any other reason. The suggestions offer some help and guidance, however the pain and hurt of such a loss generally requires time and the support of family, friends and health professionals to lessen.

Tests during pregnancy are now relatively common. Following such tests, parents may be faced with the knowledge that the baby has a serious disorder or abnormality. Because of this, or a wide range of other personal factors, parents may make the decision not to continue with the pregnancy. You may feel: 

Feelings

At the time of testing, diagnosis, and decision- making, events can often seem overwhelming. Things may have moved so fast that there is no time to reflect fully on what has happened to you and your pregnancy. The experience may be so profound that it takes many months for it's meaning to sink in.

Feelings and thoughts that couples might experience include: Shock, extreme sadness, guilt, anger and depression, numbness and being distant from reality, social isolation and stigma, difficulty in dealing with family reactions and questions, fear about the future, or fear that others will not understand or support their decisions.

All of these feelings and thoughts are completely normal.

Grieving the loss of a baby 

Grief is a normal and necessary process by which we adjust to a loss. The grief experienced after the death of a baby, no matter how or when this has occurred, can be as intense as the grief experienced after the loss of a spouse. Emotional bonds between mother and child develop early in a pregnancy. When a baby dies, the parents experience the deep loss of a person, and also their hopes, dreams and vision of the future with that baby. It can be a devastating, and life changing experience.

It is important to find supportive people to express your feelings to. Being able to speak openly to others (a family member, friends, GP, support group counsellor, midwife or other professional) without fear of judgement can assist in understanding and gradually coming to terms with your feelings.

Talking about your baby, naming them, creating memories in the form of a journal, a ceremony, or other mementoes, are all helpful ways of acknowledging their existence and the meaning this has for you.

The intensity, length and process of grief will differ from person to person, and may take many years. It may come and go over different events and times as life progresses. However most parents say that after a year the intense pain usually lessens.  

Future Pregnancies 

Thinking about becoming pregnant again is a natural part of the healing process. For couples that have lost a pregnancy through termination because of an abnormality, each future pregnancy is often a "tentative pregnancy".

Professional support and information is essential. A genetic counsellor may be of assistance, and the hospital social worker may be able to assist you in making these connections. If you have your own doctor, they are often the best person to discuss things with in the first instance.

It is important not to assume that you will take the same course of action if a foetal abnormality is found again. Many parents who have experienced foetal abnormality have said that they whenever they have had to consider terminating a pregnancy their past experiences, circumstances, support systems and attitudes have all been different; therefore their decision each time can be different also. Having a trusted person to talk with can help you on this journey.

Pregnancy ended before 20 weeks gestation

Whilst a birth certificate cannot be issued for babies between 0-20 weeks gestation, a commemorative certificate can be issued by the NT Registrar of Births Deaths and Marriages.

Further details about this service can be obtained form the office of Births Deaths and Marriages (NT Department of Justice). The application form is available on-line from. http://www.nt.gov.au/justice/bdm/documents/bdm/app_commerative_cert_delivery.pdf

Cradle Support Group 

Cradle NT is a volunteer organization which provides support for parents who have lost a child at any age.

The group holds monthly support meetings with the opportunity for personal and group discussions. The type of support received by families during the time of grieving and loss is of crucial importance for their subsequent psychological and physical health, their social adjustment and relationships between partners.

Support group meetings are held on the second Saturday of each month at the Darwin Private Hospital Board Room at 10am. Support and counselling can be arranged for people not in Darwin.

CRADLE NT INC.

PHONE: 0438 272 353